The Sweet Things Ellie Says

 I've been storing the sweet things Ellie says in my mind and decided there is no time like the present to be sure to capture them before she says something else which I'm sure won't be long :-)  

Just now, she's showering from a full wonderful day with family and playing Better Place. I peaked in to tell her I love her so much, and she said, "Mom, I've been thinking about this little sentence in my head--- Nothing is perfect, except LIFE." Such a tender moment to have her share what was happening in her mind at that moment as she was listening to the song we both love. Ellie often shrugs things off that could be stressful and reminds, "It doesn't have to be perfect". Yesterday when she said this, I felt like saying "Nothing is perfect except my love for you" but decided not to confuse her flow with not being perfectionistic. I felt so in tune when she busted out with this big picture appreciation for LIFE on this gorgeous Memorial Day. 

Leading up to Mother's Day, Ellie was making a card daily. She was proud of herself and explained she'd made 8 cards because there were so many nice things she wanted to say about me.  Geez, Ellie. That's just so sweet to hear as a mama.

And the third memory to capture... few weeks ago, JC and I had the joy of watching our twin nieces graduate from high school in Florida. The morning of their special day, I was walking through their hallway looking at pictures from over the years and remembering their Christening in Norway. I felt that pit of the stomach feeling of the passage of time.  When I came home I gave Ellie some extra hugs and shared I was feeling a bit emotional about them growing up. She comforted me and so wisely said, "Don't worry, I am each age for a whole year" and somehow this was just the perfect reminder I needed. It feels fleeting and yet each age truly is exactly a year and each is beautiful.

Like a Mouse Without Cheese

Overall, Ellie seems to be managing well. She's getting lots of attention from her sisters (including today's photo shoot done by Addison), lots of time outside (including being the most amazing, focused helper with pulling weeds and planting flowers) and regular FaceTime learning and connection with her grandparents. But she misses Ms. Burnett, Lynnie, and being with her friends (especially Kinney). We try not to talk too much about the pandemic but the other night as we were snuggling for bed she wondered when the "coronavirus" would be over, tears shedding down her face, explaining, "I can't believe it's been a month since hugging my friends. Mom, it's like a mouse going a month without eating cheese!"

Tough to realize she knows the correct name of the disease and that she lays in bed thinking about these types of things, but I'm glad she has the words cuz I sure don't!

I Could Sleep Like This All Night

I can't believe I haven't written since September 2018, and yet I can. Life is full with wonderful chosen pursuits and also the unexpected challenges. It may not be a coincidence that September 2018 is when Charting Careers began operating as its own nonprofit. I was deliberate in 2016 about feeling ready to actively volunteer again and not feel too comfortable in attending to the needs of just my own family. But, wow, this nonprofit journey has had lots of twists and turns that have demanded 5+ hours more a week than I wished.

I think I am getting back on a more balanced path. But I also remind myself of what my friend Caro says, balance is a verb as much as a noun. I strive for it and I tell myself that matters.

Tonight was one of those parenting nights that could have gone smoother. Questioning myself-- am I being too harsh or am I tackling the things that need to be tackled? Am I grumpy or do I need to work on these things with my kids. The answer kept changing.

My back was feeling good and I picked Ellie up like a baby in her towel after her bath and cradled her. Without words, it reminded us both of when she was a baby. She started matching her breathing to mine and mine to hers. I vividly remember when she was around 6 months old helping her get to sleep this way. And we sat in silence without awkwardness, eyes connected. "Mama", she says, "I could stay like this all night." The connection was so real. I'll put this in my pocket and it will last me for a very long time.

Love
Me

It was funner than I thought

Our little sweet heart seemed to have some mixed feelings about preschool as the start date got closer. This was a little surprising at first, given her months of excitement and counting down until she got to go to SCHOOL. After some hesitation early this morning, she got her grove on and had fun making a  rainbow sign together and talking with daddy on speaker as we waited our turn in the drop off line. My heart melted when she got in the car tonight and said, "Mama, it was even funner than I thought it would be. I didn't think it could be too good since you weren't going to be there."

Squid dissection

Camp Beagle 2018 —- first time all Johns girls together at the same summer camp and with their cousins ta bout! Samantha and Addie were thrilled to do squid dissection a second year. Samantha went on to explain that the squid babies were inside of the squid’s Octapussy!” Perfect understanding :-)

Like You

We were sitting at the pool tonight enjoying dinner with friends and Samantha came up, eager to share! (We’ve been working really hard on not interrupting so I was really hoping there was a good reason for her arrival within the “adult”’conversation.) She was just beaming, clutching her Land of  Stories book 3 to her chest. “Mom and Dad, someone just came up to me saying you really are like your sister. You love to read too!” It was just the sweetest moment. She’s happy to be like her sister and happy to be known as a book lover and happy to admit all of this. I love seeing sweet Sam settled and she’s fallen in love with reading.

Wax on wax off

Samantha worked hard helping daddy get the sunfish all spiffed up and then enjoyed a nice ride.