I can't believe I haven't written since September 2018, and yet I can. Life is full with wonderful chosen pursuits and also the unexpected challenges. It may not be a coincidence that September 2018 is when Charting Careers began operating as its own nonprofit. I was deliberate in 2016 about feeling ready to actively volunteer again and not feel too comfortable in attending to the needs of just my own family. But, wow, this nonprofit journey has had lots of twists and turns that have demanded 5+ hours more a week than I wished.
I think I am getting back on a more balanced path. But I also remind myself of what my friend Caro says, balance is a verb as much as a noun. I strive for it and I tell myself that matters.
Tonight was one of those parenting nights that could have gone smoother. Questioning myself-- am I being too harsh or am I tackling the things that need to be tackled? Am I grumpy or do I need to work on these things with my kids. The answer kept changing.
My back was feeling good and I picked Ellie up like a baby in her towel after her bath and cradled her. Without words, it reminded us both of when she was a baby. She started matching her breathing to mine and mine to hers. I vividly remember when she was around 6 months old helping her get to sleep this way. And we sat in silence without awkwardness, eyes connected. "Mama", she says, "I could stay like this all night." The connection was so real. I'll put this in my pocket and it will last me for a very long time.
Love
Me
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